My journey in sexual liberation and exploration has taken me to places where in my prior I life I would have never imagined going. I've had extraordinary sex with the woman who introduced me to this freedom, and some so-so sex with a couple other girls. I've entered into the RP arena and found a lot of fun and exploration there, in addition to of course interacting with people on on-line communities like the ones found here on LJ. I've learned about the diversity in what can actually turn somebody on, and one of the most common and intriguing things I've found is the preponderance of women who love being dominated. While there are a lot of men who like being dominaTORS, I don't know if they are as numerous as women who like being dominaTED. Certainly, it's hard to find women who enjoy being doms themselves.
I find it interesting, that in a world where for the first time in human history women have a freedom in society that is relatively unprecedented, that in the private (real and cyber) world of sex, many want to be controlled. There is a spectrum of course - which I'll illustrate like this:
Strong, chivalrous man consensual domination/
in a romantic, consensual ----------------> bondage, etc -------------------> rape
relationship, taking charge
With rape being obviously completely limited to roleplay scenarios on-line. I came across women on-line frequently that specifically looked for "Rape Roleplays" - even there there was a spectrum (where the act started of non-consensual and ended up consensual, and when it was completely undesired) - and this actually confused me initially. How could any woman, even if it were just on-line want to act out a rape scenario? Then I realized that it was essentially the fantasy of domination taken to extreme - but with the complete and utter safety of it being in words, on-line, between two people who in most cases would never meet. Obviously, no one "enjoys" rape by definition - it is vulgar and repulsive in its very essence.
Of course I don't have a hard time understanding the "vanilla" side of the spectrum and the middle part, both of which I enjoy, but I recently came across a journal of someone, a woman, that wrote things that she wished was done to her that challenged my personally established paradigm.
By her writings, she would certainly fall very strongly in the domination category - but very close to the end of rape. Not that she wants out right rape, because although much of what she write seems to cross over that border, there is always an underlying sense this it is clearly DESIRED. The full figure of BDSM is apparent in her writings, and perhaps it is because I am new to this that I find it intriguing, disgusting, exhilarating, and... most surprisingly, sexually stimulating.
In this journey I've learned a lot about myself. I realized that I do really enjoy the soft, romantic side of sex. But in a strange turn of events, I've also seen that my sexual tastes are broader than I initially thought.
Now that I've been reading more, I think I'll be using this journal to see how far I can go, and I'll let you (the numerous, the anonymous, the completely public) tag along if you're at all interested. While I am discovering BDSM, my enjoyment in the normal, daily flirtatious behavior followed by a passionate scene in the janitor's closet, on your bed or in the car - is always there, and I think this makes me more personally and sexually agile than ever before.
For what it's worth,